I'm putting my trust in you Jessica

Let's take a little stroll down memory lane.Meet Stephanie(on the right), if it weren't for her Jeff and I may not be together today. No, she wasn't some match maker or even a good friend of mine. What she did was bring out a really jealous streak in me that opened my eyes to how deeply I really felt for Jeffrey.

This is Jared(Jeff's youngest brother) and me in the summer of 2000. Can you imagine that this baby is now in Iraq fighting. On this night he told me that I made Jeff really happy, among other nice things he said. I will treasure that conversation always.

Me, Jeff and Rachel (just ignore the hand around my shoulder) at Padre.
I am only showing this picture because by now Daddy should be in Mexico with no internet and therefor can't strangle me for my lack of clothes at the time.

This is Alexis and me when I worked in child-care. Trust me when I say she is as cute as a button but I didn't feel okay with showing her face. However I do feel the need to share this.....
Alexis told me that when her Daddy came home at night she had to go play in her room while her mommy and daddy shopped for a little brother.
I still laugh about that but it taught me a great lesson....I should be careful what I tell my kids, just because they don't understand doesn't mean the adult they repeat it to won't.

Jeffrey and me on my graduation night, also my eighteenth birthday.
I wish I remembered what those two extra cords and the medallion I wore meant, not ever one had them, maybe I'm not as dumb as I remember.

This is Quinn and me in English. She was a lot of fun and I am glad I got to know her in school. She introduced me to lots of people, people I probably never would have aloud myself to know.


Now my point wasn't to show you what is in the pictures but what isn't. What's missing from all these photos?

Is it the little VW bug my brother wanted to buy me for my sixteenth birthday? How cute would I have been in a yellow bug with jersey cow upholstery seats. Never mind that I would have had whiplash from not know how to drive a stick shift, I would have been the only one at school with one.

Is teenage angst missing? No, my mother can testify to that. Or really anyone who came within ten feet of me through those years.

We can all see that the blinding glow from my pasty white skin is apparent in every picture, so it isn't that.

No, I'll tell you what was missing from all those pictures and my teenage years. Acne. That's what's missing. The very thing that kept some kids from wanting to go to high school. The same thing that had girls caking on make-up. That's probably the really reason all those Alabama boys are wearing sweeping bangs right now. It's not about style, it's about necessitate to cover up bumpy blotchy red skin.

If you were one of those kids don't be envious of me, while you were making sure your make-up covered it all I was worried about keeping my arms at my sides for fear that someone might see that I sweat like boxer. And now that were are all grown up you acne is all gone and long forgotten but my sweating is still hear but has brought someone new in the mix, your old friend acne. I got it while pregnant with Kati and all these years later it's still hanging on. So here I am, a grown woman with three kids but with the skin of a fifteen year old. It might be okay if I still had that body but alas it's gone along with my bellybutton that I fear I will never see again.

Today I am waiting for the delivery man to bring my Proactive. My sweet husband is the one who ordered it for me. So either he is tired of me looking in the mirror and complaining or he is embarrassed to be seen with me.

I took a picture of myself the day he ordered it but I just couldn't bring myself to post it. However, if I get nice results I will post a before and after. I hope the delivery guy gets here soon. I can't wait to tear into the box and learn how to wash my face. Maybe they will have a video for remedial students.


oh, and babe, I know you aren't embarrassed to be seen with me but it's too bad you can't just carry that photo of us from Padre around and say it's a current picture of me.