Can't wait for the "twos"

Butterfly Day

Last Friday Grandma invited us to a butterfly day and it was lovely, incredible humid but lovely. First I will share some shots of the butterflies. I hope you enjoy them......

I love this one!!

We left the hospital on Tuesday afternoon and had an uneventful night. Jeff went back to work on Wednesday and I made plans to go out to Jeff's parents house starting Friday to spend the weekend with them. Jeff was going to be involved in a church event that would last all weekend and when he is gone that much the kids get really crabby. We decided that since we haven't been to Grandma and Grandpa's in awhile this would help keep their minds off of Jeff being gone.

On Wednesday I decided to go to church, for purely selfish reasons to be honest, I was tired of being in the house. I went knowing I wasn't going to leave him but I just needed to get out. I thought he needed some out time too. I am sure he was tired of hearing me say not to do this or that.

He took it easy but was a helper for Ms. Lisa. There were some left over eggs from the Easter party so he helped open them. After that he served me "food". Around 7:30 though he began to get very clingy and complained of a headache.

On the way home he started throwing up, which we knew would happen. The doctor told us there was a good chance that he might throw up, maybe everyday and even possibly twice a day. We were still so far from home that we decided to stop by my mom's and take her car seat in case I needed it tomorrow. We stopped at a gas station and cleaned him up as much as possible. My mom was so nice to meet us outside so we could get the car seat quickly. As my mom was talking with the kids Bear's head just slipped over as he fell asleep. About twenty minutes later he woke up throwing up again. Oh, I forgot to tell you about this......Bear said he wanted to sit over there, pointing at Kati's car seat. I asked him where he wanted Kati to sit and he pointed to his own seat. As soon as we got home I began a bath for him while Jeff changed out car seats. After his bath I wrapped him in a towel and went to rock him but then he threw up again. I asked Jeff to call the Doctor from the hospital. After speaking with Doctor we called my mom and Jeff's parents and again headed back to the ER where he threw up again. I don't want to make this incredible long so I will try to shorten some of it. First let me say I was not as impressed with our second triage trip as I was our first. I felt like they thought I was an irresponsible mother and that we really came back for no reason.

Another CAT scan was done, which he did so much better with. Jeff and I were both very, very proud of him. We were told there was a little more bleeding and were admitted again. Again brought up to the 4th floor and waited while his crib was switched to a bed.

We spent the night and in the morning Dr. McDrybutIlikehimanyway came by to see me. He told me there was no more bleeding on the brain. When I said the woman last night said there was his words were "Well, she can say whatever she wants buts there wasn't any." He explained that the blood had moved or just changed shape. He let me know that he compared both scans last night and that morning and that he had also shared them with another Doctor who agreed with him.

Look at those big beautiful lips.

Jeff and I needed to run an errand so Jeff's dad came by to take care of Bear while we were gone for a couple of hours. Daddy took him down to the playroom to give him some freedom. Bear really needed that and I knew that Daddy was the perfect person for the job. He knew that Bear needed some calm kid time but wouldn't treat him like glass either.

Later that evening he threw up and began running a fever, 100.7, so we stayed another night for more observations. The fever broke in the very early hours of the morning. The doctor came by again and we talked, Bear is going to have to take it really easy. Even just a little bit of playing just wipes his body out. I can't even take him to church at this point, maybe even for five weeks. You have no idea how hard that is for my little guy. Brendon is just like his Daddy and goes stir crazy, he wants to go somewhere everyday.

So although his body is healing, here are some of the side effects or "concussive tendencies"

• headache/dizzy/lightheaded
• vomits or feels sick
• parts of body feel numb or tingle
• loses balance, drops things, trips a lot (which doesn't work well when you are trying to keep him from falling again)
• exhausted
• tires easily
• drowsy
• needs extra sleep
• hard to fall asleep
• sensitive to light and noise
• vision blurry
• ringing in ears
• confused
• in a fog
• attention or concentration is different
• difficulty with memory
• misunderstands things

and here are the toughies with Bear, because the truth is every child is different and Bear is a little crabbier than other kids but things are really intensified right now.....

• restless, irritable, or fussy
• acts without thinking
• becomes upset easily or loses temper
• sad or depressed mood
• anxious or nervous

....so one minute Bear is fine and the next minute even something slight can seem to be the end of the world to him. Not only is it tough on him it's tough on Katibug too. It's hard having all the attention on him, having to listen to the fits, etc.

Bear's got "head trauma" as grandpa says, Kati is crying, and Timbo is cutting a tooth so you can imagine how nice and calm things are around here. We would appreciate your prayers for healing, peace, and wisdom.

We want to say thank you to all who have prayed, helped, brought dinner, come to visit, and were concerned for my little man. We really appreciate it. Both our parents have especially been lifesavers threw all of this, we couldn't have done it without y'all.

On a side note, Bear got to play Xbox. The hospital had it and even though he had no idea what he was doing he had a great time pushing buttons. This beautiful smile is a great example of how part of his moods are. One minute you have this happy little guy and then mister crabby comes out. And he get soooo tired. Today he was laying in the same room that I was cleaning in and over and over I watched him lay down with a pillow and blanket then sit up for a couple of minutes to play cars and then lay back down to rest again, then sit up to play for a couple of more minutes. It was just a cycle he went threw for about an hour or more this morning.


See the cute bear in the picture? The hospital gave it to him, a "Prayer Bear". It came with a cute story. His favorite was the really colorful pillow, also in the picture. Grandpa said it was in the room when they came back from playing. An organization from the hospital made it and he just loves it.

I know none of this is flowing very well anymore but I also wanted to share some of my other thoughts.....

I enjoyed this, we were able to go to chapel where the kids praised God and were given the opportunity to talk about how they were feeling, good or bad.

Although we were/are very worried/scared we are so grateful that everything is going to be okay. Being there with all the other children who weren't going to be going home so soon was heart breaking. There are so many times that I don't understand the sovereignty of the Lord, and why things go this way or that.

More Easter

For our own celebrating we do an egg hunt with "Resurrection Eggs". For me I feel like Christmas is so much about other things instead of the birth of Christ that we wanted to be sure that at Easter the children made their focus on the Resurrection of Christ and not about candy, eggs, and pretty clothes. We still hide the eggs but instead of being filled with candy each egg has an item that deals with the Crucifixion threw the Resurrection. After gathering all the eggs we and opening them we hear the gospel. The kids love it.

This year we had to do the hunt indoors because of the weather.

"I spy...."

When Kati opened her mail from Grandma and Grandpa her sweet little face lite up "Ooooh, my favorite thing." She loves bubble wrap.

A tradition with Grandma E, making a bunny cake.

I needed to do some blogging that doesn't involve thinking about the stress from this week so, here, I will try and catch up and let you enjoy an Easter celebration post.They crack me up......

It's a Kati original, don't laugh, you'll be seeing them in Paris later this year.

He made a friend.

Kati really enjoyed the story. I was so proud of her, listening to her answer the questions.

I know I have been on a bit of a blogging break this week but Bear went back to the hospital on Wednesday night. I won't be posting about it now because again it could take a while. Just know that we are home now and that I will fill you in later.

Until then here is a picture from Easter. I know it is fuzzy but I am too busy/tired to go get the clearer one. Can you see why it is such a special picture? That's right, that's my Timbo standing. Now I do have to admit it was only for a second but he did do it a few times. What a big boy!

Do you have a minute, or maybe thirty, because this could take a while.

I love this boy.......

When I went to pickup the kids from the nursery at church I found Bear in the bathroom with Lisa. He said he wasn't feeling well. I really knew he wasn't feeling well when they said he wouldn't eat his cupcake for snack. Around 12:30 he threw up all over himself and Jeffrey. From the point on he continued to throw up a lot. In about a 24 hour period he threw up 11 or 12 times. The boy was s-i-c-k. He started complaining of a headache, which he has never done before. He just laid around the house doing nothing. Anytime I tried to get him to eat he said no. If you know Bear then you know how unlike him that is. Now I won't swear on this but it is very likely that his first words were "I'm hungry" and it's also likely that my very first words to him were "Bear, could you please settle down". The child is a ball of hungry non-stop energy.

Brendon has always been a very health child. The first time he got sicksick he was close to a year old. In his nearly three years on this Earth I would say he has probably been sick 4 or 5 times.

Since he still wasn't feeling well on Monday he got to watch movie after movie after T.V. show. Even after I turned the T.V. off he still laid around on the couch. I sat down and put his head in my lap while I was talking to Jeff. I started rubbing his head when I felt the mushy spot and then it hit me.................he hit his head on Saturday. I couldn't feel his skull and he was throwing up and lethargic and I was in panic mode.

As I am sure I have mentioned once, or maybe a hundred times before, Jeff being the logically one got me together. He told me to call my mom and have her come immediately. As soon as she got to our home we left and headed straight to the ER. After the first check by some EMT's we were sent back to the waiting room and waited for 2 1/2 hours, which I am sure I will post about on another day. Bear wouldn't let Jeff or I hold him. He just curled up in his own chair and slept. It broke my heart that he wouldn't let me snuggle with him. I tried to remain calm by reminding myself that he had hit his Saturday and we have made it this far and things would be fine, while the other side me was just sick. I sat there being so angry with myself. For nearly six years I worked in daycare and received first aide training I know what I am suppose to do if a child hits their head and I didn't. I know when I child hits their head all the things I am to look for and didn't. When Bear rocked back in the chair he was playing in, subsequently hitting his head on concrete he didn't black out or anything but he did cry a lot. I looked him over and didn't find a mark or a bump. He whole face was red but the kids had been out in the sun and were playing hard. I just blew Bear off because he hadn't had a nap and was cranky. So I sat there in the waiting room kicking myself for not checking him again later, not checking his pupils, not being a better mother.

We were finally taken back to a triage. At this point it was around 10:30pm. Just a few feet away a child was getting stitches and screaming. I felt sorry for Bear not really know what was going on. He just wanted to go home. A doctor came to see us to let us know Bear would be getting a CAT scan. He felt of Bear's head and told us the scan would let us know how much the skull was hurt and if we would need a surgery to push it back out. As soon as he left Jeffrey and I both began weeping.

The CAT scan was horrible. Bear had to lay down on the table and be strapped down to it. He just screamed and cried and begged to be let up. To hear you child say, "Mommy can you please come get me. Please help me out of here." is heartbreaking. It was our job to get him to be still so the tech could take the pictures. Bear was so afraid. We tried to get him to close his eyes and relax but the machine would start to move and he would begin to struggle against the restraints again.

We were sent back to the triage to wait for the neurologist to read the CAT scan. They came back to let us know that their was no break in the skull but there had been some bleeding. They wanted us to stay over night so they could watch him. Since he still wasn't eating they wanted him to be able to hold down food before he left. An IV need to be inserted to get him hydrated again. This was just as bad if not worse than the CAT scan. He sat in my lap while Jeff held his legs. Another man held the hand the IV would be put in while another woman held that arm. He was hysterical, screaming, crying coughing from exertion. "You're hurting me! Please stop! Please let go of me!"

We were transported another part of the hospital to stay the night. I got to sleep in his bed with him. The next day the neurologist's assistant came to see us and this is what we learned....

• he had no fractor
• he does have a concussion
• the swelling he has is between the skull and scalp and not on the brain (very good)
• he has some bleeding around the brain, not from his brain but from the matter between your brain and your skull
• his body will eventually reabsorb the blood
• we will need to go back to the hospital in a month for another CAT scan
• a week later I will have an appt with the neurologist
• in the next two weeks it is a possibility he could have a seizure
• for a month no biking, climbing, wrestling, tumbling, being on anything he could fall from, pretty much no being a boy :) nothing that could cause him to hurt his head again.

We are just praising God, it could have been so much worse. I don't always understand God's ways and I know I never will. All I can do is hope and pray that if his will had been different that I would continue to praise Him.

He sucked his thumb so much while we were there I was sure when he pulled it out all we would find was bone.

They finally let him eat and man did he love those graham crackers with peanut butter.

They missed each other.




Thank you, thank you, thank you mom for coming so quickly and taking care of Kati and Timothy.

I love my little man

No time to blog now, but I will be letting you know about our trip to the hospital.
Praise the Lord.

The favors of great men or women are like blushes on the cheeks of a courtesan-rare, nice to see, but not to be relied upon.

Yeah, so this title has nothing to do with my post. It is a line from a book I am reading . I thought you might read it and wondering what on earth I was posting about. And it worked, you are reading further, are you not. Well, the truth is I'm not posting on anything so thought provoking; just something to make you smile.

All of these pictures were taking of Bear in about a four hour period. He is going through this weird smile phase. As I looked back through the pictures I continued to come across this new smile of his or other silly faces he made. There were just so many I thought I had to blog about it. There were actually even more than these but I didn't want to beat a dead horse but by then end you may feel like I already did. I thought they were funny and since it's my blog I guess that's all that matters.

And this one had to be my favorite.