Poor Guy, the things that go on in their minds

Mom, what happens if I wear my underwear to bed and I pee? Will I be killed or will it just hurt real bad?

So the only good thing about the flu is I dropped a pound. Only 12 to go!

Kati Bug...Daddy is so proud of you.

First day of public school

Technically Kati has already had a first day of school. In the state of Texas you have to be five years old by September 1st to enter Kindergarten. Last year Kati was completely ready to start but missed the cut off day by 11 days. Homeschooling was our plan anyway so we just started early. Little did we know that the cut off is always the 1st. So for first grade you must be six, second grade you must be seven and so on all the way through high school. Therefore our Bug will be doing Kindergarten again. It will be good for her, she can use the social skills.

In the past "public school" was like a cuss word to Kati. It was something people only whispered and everyone else gasped at. But when we proposed the idea again she seemed okay and when I mentioned new clothes she was on board. (if she didn't look like me I might not think she was mine)

For the last week she has literally been counting down the days. When I opened the bathroom door this morning, before six, there she stood. I had to send the starry eyed girl back to bed. Not long after she was out of bed again. When I finally called her to get up at 6:30 she sprang out of that bed.

It wasn't too long before she started to change. My sweet girl was getting very crabby. At one point I saw her kick Bear's chair at breakfast. That was it. I called peace, everyone had to get along I said. I pulled her aside and asked what was going on. My baby broke into tears....

She said she was scared. She has never been to school she says so she doesn't know what she is scared of just scared. We cuddled up and prayed for peace and comfort and for a special friend. That set her back on track.

All loaded up to go...

My oh my, she is far to big.

Someone, I won't say who, got all teary eyed when Bug read her paper out loud.

Bug is at a table full of boys. I think that is probably in her best interest, if it was all girls she would probably gab the day away.

We finally left after we and the other parents were kicked out. I can't wait to pick her up and hear all about her day.

My little man

"I can't sleep."

"Why not buddy?"

"I'm just all alone. No one is bed next to me and I can't sleep."

More love

Love

A first

Quite some many months ago I began getting comments from an unknown woman. I began reading her blog as well. It wasn't long before we struck up a conversation about a trip Jeff and I took with the kids and our friendship grew from there.

I asked her recently how she found my blog and she can't remember, probably blog hopping, (isn't that how most of us found each other) but I know that God sent her to me at just the right time, months before I would need her so that I would learn to trust this sister in Christ. She has been a listening ear, a sounding board and someone to pray with.

Nicole invited me to a bloggy get together. Ordinarily I wouldn't dream of doing something like this, it's so out of my comfort zone, but I am learning to be a new me so I decided to go ahead a join them. I am so glad that I did. We met in this lovely tea room that is ajoined to an antique store.

Jen and Dina brought wonderful things to nibble on. Jen had us all go around the room introducing ourselves and our blogsites. In the 17 ladies that were there we had quite a variety of women all in different stages of our lives. Some with kids, some with no kids, three moms with quad's, some looking for work, some content with being at home, some married, some engaged, some divorced, and many many women who like to decorate.

I am glad that Jen had us switch around to different tables a few times. It gave me an opportunity to meet a new friend. We share a love of dark nail polish, I look forward to catching up on her blog.

See Daddy it's not just me, Alicia is wearing black polish too.
(Jen, Me, Alicia, Nicole)

Me and Nicole

Here are a couple of candid pictures from the night. We were all so busy talking that most of us didn't take that many pictures.

Thanks Jen for organizing all of this.

Tidbits

This weekend I get the opportunity to meet some bloggy friends and I can't wait. One of the ladies had this great idea to do Tidbits, so just in case any of you lovely ladies are reading my blog here are mine....

I love the smell of coffee

I love to take pictures and wish I could take a photography class

I'm terrified of water.

And I'm scared of the dark like a little kid.

I enjoy a good Mojito.

I wish I knew sign language.

I would love to write for a living.

We almost lost Bug at 27 weeks.

I'm addicted to reading.

I'm 27 and still can't dissect a sentence.

I love to bake.

Jeffrey is a better cook than me. His fried chicken is to die for!

I want to get my nose pierced.

Black and red are my favorite nail polish colors.

I love shoes but don't want to wear them.

Breakfast Club, The Lost Boys, Fireproof, Footloose, and McLintock are some of my favorite movies.

I enjoy old rhythm and blues but I want my Guns and Roses too.

Pretty Pie is the best nickname I have ever had, it's music to my ears.

My favorite line from a movie, "Half the people in this world are women. Why does it have to be you that stirs me?" (Name that movie)

I save the craziest things....

A kid after my own heart

The baby, for some unknown reason, went to the entertainment stand and selected this movie. He then traveled down the hall and selected this book and snuck them off to his room.

What a crock

While at the mall I read this, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." Seriously! Anybody who believes that has only experienced a drizzle and not a true down pour.

Hey dude, walk in another persons shoes and you will know the feeling of this verse, "Have mercy on me, Oh God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until this disaster has passed." Psalms 57:1

Now that's the real world, sometimes life stinks but there is always someone to turn too. Isn't it nice to know that he wants to gather us up in his shelter. Sometimes in life it's a comfort to know that he is more grieved with things than I am. That tells me that I have someone who truly understands what I am going through. Someone to cry with.

What a nerd

Travel on over

I'm just loving all these posts that I identify with. Over at Bad Mommy Moments she shared her love of plastic. She is hilarious. Stop by and read her stuff sometime. A wonderful writer.

Favorite Smells

• Gravity (Jeff's cologne from High School), I still have a bottle tucked away in a drawer
  
• What ever gum Jeff chewed in High school, I don't know which one it was but every time I smell it I know it's the one
• What ever chapstick Jeff used in High school
• Those three smells mixed together when I got in his Talon on a hot summer day, pure heaven. Man I miss that car!
  
• Aveeno Baby Wash
• wild green onions
• puppy breath
• (this one is bad) the smell of my newborns barf
• coffee
• new plastic
  
• The smell of sweet potato bread baking.....I think I'll go make some now!
  

Five off the list in one day....pretty good day if you judge by those standards! I guess he knew I would be needing some favorite things.

These are a few of my favorite things

Over at Cindy Beall she posted this today. Sometimes when it feels like your world is crashing in it's good to take time and remember things that make you happy....

• The twinkle in my husbands eye
• The uncontrollable laughter of my baby
• Listening to my Daddy talk about God
• The feel of cold tile under my feet
• The smell of hot asphalt after a summer rain
• The feel of Bear's tiny hand on my back
• The sound of Bug's voice
• The smells and feel of fall in Texas and what it makes me think of
• Lying in the hammock watching Jeffrey fish with the kids
  

In a fleeting moment

"Jeff before you go could you turn that chair more towards that pool."

I haven't worn a swimsuit without shorts since high school so this is new for me and I want to get to my chair as fast as I can. The thought of having to bend over and rearrange the chair with the slight possibility that someone might see me....horrifying.

I race out of one pool to my chair that is close to the 1 1/2 foot pool to watch the boys swim.

I watched them floating around in the floaty tubes that Bear calls hoops.

Man those boys are cute.
Maybe I should untie my top so I don't get tan lines...
I can't believe how tan my legs have gotten....

The boys float to a spot where a tree blocks my vision from them. Bear comes out on the other side. I wait a second. Another moment. Just one more and still no Bo. I leaned forward to see what the stinker was doing.

No!

I see my sweet baby upside down, head under water, with his green tube still around his waist. His legs, up in the air, aren't moving and he is completely still. No thrashing arms under the water.

Completely still.

I have never run so fast in my life but it took to long to get there. I sprang from my chair and ran through the landscape. Jumping in I began to scoop him up. On his way up I notice that his eyes are open but he was so still.

Oh God. I can't do this. Please don't do this.


Putting him against my chest I began hitting his back. People are standing at the edge watching us. They are asking each other questions and I can hear other people saying he was under water. I felt judged. I didn't want them looking at me if these were my last moments. I wanted to scream 'go away'. I wanted to yell.

No phone. I have no phone. I can't call 911.........someone else will have a phone. Please Bo please.

I was terrified that my second worst fear had come true. I didn't want to know what my friends have felt. I don't want to know that pain.


My baby. Please God please. I don't want to look at his face Lord. I can't do this Lord. Ple..


"That boy Momma...that boy Momma" my fears are melting away, "he has a....he has a.... basketball."


Before this there was no sound from him.
Nothing.
No gasping.
No crying.
He just started talking to me.


I have never heard more beautiful words in my life.


I clung tightly to him, never wanting to let him go. After some minutes passed I slowly did. Together we watched the boy with the ball. I can hear the sound of Bear's voice next to me but I'm wasn't listening. I am just praying thanks over and over again.


Bo turns and looks at me with those gorgeous brown eyes, "I drown down dere Momma" he says as he points down into the water. "I's looking at that ground."


I hugged him all over again. I began praying for forgiveness for the profanity that came from my mouth as I ran through the mulch to get to my sweet boy. And more prayers of thanks.

He sleeps with me tonight. I can't take my eyes off of him.

It would be an injustice for the world not to know this face.

Lord I don't know why some parents have to know that kind of pain but thank you for sparing me from it.