Could I please just turn on some type of media today and not here about Micheal Jackson's death. Yes, it's a sad thing when someone dies but let's not glorify him. The man was a pedophile. The world just became a safer place. I wasn't going to say anything. I know my opinion is harsh but I'm going crazy with all of this. You can't turn anything on without people talk about the King of Pop and how great he was. The man was very talented, I'll give him that, but it doesn't take away the fact that he was a perv.
Oh, yeah, and I gained one pound this week.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Still picking up pieces
Jeff: Got any ice cream?
Me (from the kitchen, walking towards the living room): No but I was about to get me some cake do you want some?
And then I dropped it.
And that about sums up how my entire day went yesterday.
Me (from the kitchen, walking towards the living room): No but I was about to get me some cake do you want some?
And then I dropped it.
And that about sums up how my entire day went yesterday.
Friday, June 19, 2009
As previously mentioned
The hardest working man I know. After only getting one and half hours of sleep and going into work at 4:00 am Jeffrey put in a new water heater last night. And thanks to my mismeasurements he wasn't finished until late last night. Really, I don't know anyone who works harder. Thank you Jeffrey.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
What about me
I am the type of person who needs time to themselves. Every.Day. When it was just Jeff and I the drive home was good enough. I could turn the radio up loud, sing to my hearts content and let my mind wonder where ever it pleased without interruption. And then they came. And life got really busy. There was no more drive home. Always interruptions. Never time for just me.
And it started.
What about me? When do I get my time? I take care of everyone else but who takes care of me? When is it my turn?
It wasn't that I thought Jeffrey didn't take care of me and the kids. The man works harder than anyone I know. He'll kill me for this but this man, on a consistent basis, goes to work in pain. And I know some of you are think that you do too but I'm talking this man goes with migraines, back and neck pain and feet that he can hardly walk on some mornings. That's the kind of man that I am married too. I know that he takes care of us and I am so grateful. But Satan began whispering these things to me. Things like "I'm not good enough" "No one notices what I do" "I work so hard and for what, it's all messed up again right away" "Why can't I just suck it up and be happy for him" And those thoughts turned to the 'what about me's'. I'm not using that as an excuse but that's how I got there. I began taking more and more time for me and then some more and a little more. Satan didn't make me do that, I chose it on my own. Every time saying to myself that I deserved it but never realize how much time I was spending on me and not the other people in my family.
But I still felt empty and frustrated. I was looking to things and Jeffrey to fulfill me when really I should have had my focus on God to fulfill me. We as humans will always fail, that's just us, flesh. In all my "me time" none of it was spent with the Lord. I had fallen severely away.
I read something recently that helped me to see that I need to look to God to be fulfilled. For the last eight and a half years I have expected Jeffrey to fill my emotional cup and not the Lord. I have always put Jeff before God, realizing it but not really knowing how to make it any different. I wish I could link to the article because she put it so well but I can't find it. In short, none of us have a full cup, that we all need the Lord to fill that cup. And what a crazy thought for me to expect Jeff to fill my cup when his isn't full either. Jeff is my equal partner but not the person I should get my self worth from.
So my point is I wasn't seeking the Lord first. I was looking to get myself worth from my husband, and from being a "good" mom and if I felt accomplished at home when I should have been turning to the bible and prayer. I left the door wide open for Satan to turn my thoughts to me instead of to God.
I'm so frustrated when I read over this. I can't get just what I want to say right. What I am trying to say is if you are doing this stop. There will never be enough "me time" to make you feel fulfilled only Christ can do that for you. Seek Him daily. It's so easy to slip away.
And it started.
What about me? When do I get my time? I take care of everyone else but who takes care of me? When is it my turn?
It wasn't that I thought Jeffrey didn't take care of me and the kids. The man works harder than anyone I know. He'll kill me for this but this man, on a consistent basis, goes to work in pain. And I know some of you are think that you do too but I'm talking this man goes with migraines, back and neck pain and feet that he can hardly walk on some mornings. That's the kind of man that I am married too. I know that he takes care of us and I am so grateful. But Satan began whispering these things to me. Things like "I'm not good enough" "No one notices what I do" "I work so hard and for what, it's all messed up again right away" "Why can't I just suck it up and be happy for him" And those thoughts turned to the 'what about me's'. I'm not using that as an excuse but that's how I got there. I began taking more and more time for me and then some more and a little more. Satan didn't make me do that, I chose it on my own. Every time saying to myself that I deserved it but never realize how much time I was spending on me and not the other people in my family.
But I still felt empty and frustrated. I was looking to things and Jeffrey to fulfill me when really I should have had my focus on God to fulfill me. We as humans will always fail, that's just us, flesh. In all my "me time" none of it was spent with the Lord. I had fallen severely away.
I read something recently that helped me to see that I need to look to God to be fulfilled. For the last eight and a half years I have expected Jeffrey to fill my emotional cup and not the Lord. I have always put Jeff before God, realizing it but not really knowing how to make it any different. I wish I could link to the article because she put it so well but I can't find it. In short, none of us have a full cup, that we all need the Lord to fill that cup. And what a crazy thought for me to expect Jeff to fill my cup when his isn't full either. Jeff is my equal partner but not the person I should get my self worth from.
So my point is I wasn't seeking the Lord first. I was looking to get myself worth from my husband, and from being a "good" mom and if I felt accomplished at home when I should have been turning to the bible and prayer. I left the door wide open for Satan to turn my thoughts to me instead of to God.
I'm so frustrated when I read over this. I can't get just what I want to say right. What I am trying to say is if you are doing this stop. There will never be enough "me time" to make you feel fulfilled only Christ can do that for you. Seek Him daily. It's so easy to slip away.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
It has begun
Look closely now. What do you see underneath the changing table? That would be three, three different pairs of my shoes. Now since I love those shoes I know that it wasn't me that put them under there. And since I have turned a new leaf about how I will spend my time cleaning my home* I am reaffirmed that it wasn't me. I always tell the kids if you didn't see someone do it then you shouldn't accuse them of do something but I am about to break that rule. I blame....
Kati
I am not sure that the boys are old enough to think this through. That it would just be faster to shove it under something instead of putting it were it goes. Now I am not saying that the boys are stupid, I have brilliant children. But Bear's style is to stand in a hurricane hit room and tell you he can't see anything that needs to be picked up.
I think that girl and I are going to have to have a talk. Maybe she knows where the remote is for the converter box. By the way, unless you have your remote you can't reprogram your box and therefore loss channels. (I will now remind myself about the seeing someone do it rule so I don't ring her neck first.) I miss me some ABC. Oh remote where have you gone.
*My new thoughts on house cleaning.
I have three kids and if you have kids yourself I need not go on about how difficult it is to keep a clean house.
Some days it seems like their only goal in life is to dirty dishes I just washed, make crumbs where I just vacuumed, and play with toys I just put away. Since I am the kind of person who likes to see a finished product to feel accomplished it was destroying me. I felt like I never got anything done even though I knew I had worked so hard. So I thought about what are the most important rooms, to me, to be kept clean. My bathroom (I hate a dusty counter), the kitchen, the living room, and semi my bedroom. I realized that I shouldn't worry so much about the kids rooms. They are kids. Small kids. Who cares if it is a mess. I was spending so much time get everything in it place (yes, I'm that mom) and by the time I would head over to the next room the baby, in seconds, would trash what I had just cleaned in the last room. So I work on the rooms that are important to me and don't stress about the rest. I also have the kids play in their rooms instead of dragging a million things into the living room. It has really changed my mood. I am less stressed and grumpy. I have been praying for God to reveal things to me about myself and I am so glad He revealed this and gave me a way to fix it.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
The Thunder Rolls
I have really enjoyed all the storms lately. Outside of fall this may be my favorite time of year. The more storms the better. I love the feel of our pier and beam home shaking with each deep roll. Here are some shots straight out of the camera.
Genesis 2:9a And the Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground- trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food.
I love that my God not only cared about nourishing my body he wanted to nourish my soul with pleasing things to look at.
I love that my God not only cared about nourishing my body he wanted to nourish my soul with pleasing things to look at.
Friday, June 12, 2009
It's every where
It's in the movies
It's on tv
On nearly every commercial
You can't walk two steps in the mall with out some ad trying to sell it
It's even hinted at in kids movies
What am I talking about?
Sex.
It's talked about everywhere. Every where that is except the one place it should be talked about the most. In the place where you should get the truth about how it should really be and not the glamorized hollywood version. About how it was created to be.
I think the last time I heard someone speak about sex in church was when my daddy officated our wedding. He quoted this verse "A loving doe, a graceful deer- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love." (Proverbs 5:19) I felt the flame rise in my face and thought 'oh my word, doesn't' he know my brother is sitting right behind us.' Jeffrey and I talked about it that very night. My was I embarressed. But you know what, I was a kid then, and I knew nothing about the way love and sex was created and designed to be by our God. Over the years I have read books and spoken with Godly people and learned of the real design and not what hollywood sells it to be. And now I am glad that verse was part of our cermony.
I think as a church we are so afraid to talk about something so private but the truth is our youth are getting the message from the outside world and it is a false message. Our churches should be educating the youth and just as important if not even more important they should be educating married women. Not for me, but I have heard from other christian woman who were so drilled with the "don't have sex" for years and then after they were married still had that mind set, that there was something wrong with it. When in reality God made this beautiful thing for husband and wife to share, we have just screwed it all up.
I found this blog (I'm not really sure how, I'm a blog hopper) and I love what they are doing here. They are speaking to married women about the way it should be. Encouraging them to take a real look at themselves and change themselves to who God wants us to be. If you are married I encourage you to check out the blog, it just began so you wont be far behind-you can catch up quick. No matter your age or how long, or short a time, you have been married you can benifit from it. Even if you think you have read it all it wouldn't hurt to get a refresher course. This blog just started but from reading the women's comments it's changing lives already.
There were two other things that Daddy said from the wedding that stood out to me that day. The first was when he said this was a unique wedding because he was marrying his son and daughter together. And the other....."Jeff, if I could look the world over and try to find the perfect gift for you, something that would be more than I could afford but something that you deserve and you need, I would give you Stacy." That touched my heart in ways that I can't even begin to explain. It's something that I will treasure always.
It's on tv
On nearly every commercial
You can't walk two steps in the mall with out some ad trying to sell it
It's even hinted at in kids movies
What am I talking about?
Sex.
It's talked about everywhere. Every where that is except the one place it should be talked about the most. In the place where you should get the truth about how it should really be and not the glamorized hollywood version. About how it was created to be.
I think the last time I heard someone speak about sex in church was when my daddy officated our wedding. He quoted this verse "A loving doe, a graceful deer- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love." (Proverbs 5:19) I felt the flame rise in my face and thought 'oh my word, doesn't' he know my brother is sitting right behind us.' Jeffrey and I talked about it that very night. My was I embarressed. But you know what, I was a kid then, and I knew nothing about the way love and sex was created and designed to be by our God. Over the years I have read books and spoken with Godly people and learned of the real design and not what hollywood sells it to be. And now I am glad that verse was part of our cermony.
I think as a church we are so afraid to talk about something so private but the truth is our youth are getting the message from the outside world and it is a false message. Our churches should be educating the youth and just as important if not even more important they should be educating married women. Not for me, but I have heard from other christian woman who were so drilled with the "don't have sex" for years and then after they were married still had that mind set, that there was something wrong with it. When in reality God made this beautiful thing for husband and wife to share, we have just screwed it all up.
I found this blog (I'm not really sure how, I'm a blog hopper) and I love what they are doing here. They are speaking to married women about the way it should be. Encouraging them to take a real look at themselves and change themselves to who God wants us to be. If you are married I encourage you to check out the blog, it just began so you wont be far behind-you can catch up quick. No matter your age or how long, or short a time, you have been married you can benifit from it. Even if you think you have read it all it wouldn't hurt to get a refresher course. This blog just started but from reading the women's comments it's changing lives already.
There were two other things that Daddy said from the wedding that stood out to me that day. The first was when he said this was a unique wedding because he was marrying his son and daughter together. And the other....."Jeff, if I could look the world over and try to find the perfect gift for you, something that would be more than I could afford but something that you deserve and you need, I would give you Stacy." That touched my heart in ways that I can't even begin to explain. It's something that I will treasure always.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Bullfrog
Not long after Bo was born Jeff and I knew he was different from our other kids. Not better in any way just different. Kati is a mini-me and Bear is a carbon copy of Jeff. They look like us, have personalities like us, and have our skin.
But not our Bo. When he was first born he didn't look like either of us. And as he grew older you couldn't say who he was like, with Bug and Bear there is no doubt. But Bo, he is just our Bo. Like no one else.
Over the past two years his differences from the other kids become more apparent. He loves to steal the spot light. Has never met a stranger. And is confident that everyone loves him.
I enjoy that I have a "little Jeff", and even though I don't like me and I love Kati just as she is (some how my personality doesn't seem so annoying on her), and I love that Bo is his own. I love that they are all different and unique.
But there is one thing that my Bo has that stands out to me the most right now. His beautiful coloring, which he certainly didn't get from me. And at times Jeff may seem to not be fair skinned but really you just have to look between all of the gorgeous freckles. My baby has the most beautiful tan and the summer has just started. I must admit I am jealous. I must share a story....
After spending a day outside I again noticed my pale beauties and his dark skin. I began kissing all over his arm calling him 'my sweet brown baby'. I asked, "Where did you get all of this beautiful brown skin?" His reply....
But not our Bo. When he was first born he didn't look like either of us. And as he grew older you couldn't say who he was like, with Bug and Bear there is no doubt. But Bo, he is just our Bo. Like no one else.
Over the past two years his differences from the other kids become more apparent. He loves to steal the spot light. Has never met a stranger. And is confident that everyone loves him.
I enjoy that I have a "little Jeff", and even though I don't like me and I love Kati just as she is (some how my personality doesn't seem so annoying on her), and I love that Bo is his own. I love that they are all different and unique.
But there is one thing that my Bo has that stands out to me the most right now. His beautiful coloring, which he certainly didn't get from me. And at times Jeff may seem to not be fair skinned but really you just have to look between all of the gorgeous freckles. My baby has the most beautiful tan and the summer has just started. I must admit I am jealous. I must share a story....
After spending a day outside I again noticed my pale beauties and his dark skin. I began kissing all over his arm calling him 'my sweet brown baby'. I asked, "Where did you get all of this beautiful brown skin?" His reply....
"Wal-Mart"
Check out that tan line!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Saturday Night
What a night!
Monday Jeff and I were watching the news when the said something about the George Straight concert that was coming up. Jeff said that looked like fun and I agreed. I really agreed when the said the Reba would be there as well. For as long as I can remember I have loved her music and wanted to see her in concert.
We made plans to go and were fortunate enough that it all worked out. The line up for the night was to be Julianne Hough, Blake Shelton, Reba and George. On our way there Jeff and I were racking our brains trying to remember who Blake Shelton was but as soon as he got started we knew who he was. This is my favorite song of his.....
Of course the high light of the night for me was seeing Reba. I have to admit I acted a fool when she came on. It was exciting to me to see the sea of flashing cameras when she came on stage. She sang lots of my favorites and then exited without singing "Fancy". I looked at Jeffrey in disbelief. How could she not sing Fancy? She just had to make a little wardrobe change....
And what can I say about Ol' George. He was great.
Thanks Jeff for getting tickets. I had a great time.
Monday Jeff and I were watching the news when the said something about the George Straight concert that was coming up. Jeff said that looked like fun and I agreed. I really agreed when the said the Reba would be there as well. For as long as I can remember I have loved her music and wanted to see her in concert.
We made plans to go and were fortunate enough that it all worked out. The line up for the night was to be Julianne Hough, Blake Shelton, Reba and George. On our way there Jeff and I were racking our brains trying to remember who Blake Shelton was but as soon as he got started we knew who he was. This is my favorite song of his.....
Of course the high light of the night for me was seeing Reba. I have to admit I acted a fool when she came on. It was exciting to me to see the sea of flashing cameras when she came on stage. She sang lots of my favorites and then exited without singing "Fancy". I looked at Jeffrey in disbelief. How could she not sing Fancy? She just had to make a little wardrobe change....
And what can I say about Ol' George. He was great.
Thanks Jeff for getting tickets. I had a great time.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
The Second Day ~ good work God
About two weeks ago I walked out my front door for something and was blown away by the view before me. No it wasn't the strange man across the street that can't seem to keep his shirt on. It was this.
And ever since then I continue to notice the beautiful sky. Even when I don't want to. I am so moved by it I can't seem to stop taking pictures of it. So I thought I would share a few of my favorites with you. And of course I enjoyed playing with them on picnik too, but know they were beautiful creations from God before I tweaked them.
And ever since then I continue to notice the beautiful sky. Even when I don't want to. I am so moved by it I can't seem to stop taking pictures of it. So I thought I would share a few of my favorites with you. And of course I enjoyed playing with them on picnik too, but know they were beautiful creations from God before I tweaked them.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Beautiful, You're Beautiful. As Beautiful as the Sun
As I watch my baby girl sleep this morning I can't help but think how lucky some man is going to be someday. She is beautiful. Breathe taking even. Now, I don't see it but Jeffrey has said the same things about me. He has said that he loves my green eyes but somehow they are even more beautiful when they are closed. I never got that until today when I looked at her.....
More than outward beauty I want her to have this beauty:
1 Peter 3:3-6
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
The Bible also says that the older women are to teach the younger women. I hope that I can be a good teacher for her.
More than outward beauty I want her to have this beauty:
1 Peter 3:3-6
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
The Bible also says that the older women are to teach the younger women. I hope that I can be a good teacher for her.
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