Oh Mary, the pressures you must have felt

There just aren't enough hours in the day. I am starting to feel very overwhelmed by all the things in my life that need to be done. For over a month the kids and I were going to the park every week day. We (I) would walk a mile to a mile and a half and then they would play on the playground while I read the bible. I was dropping about a pound a week and was very excited about it. Then I gained a pound right at the same time the weather began to get dark and dreary. Not a good combination. I was already frustrated about the little things in the house that were going unattended because of our new schedule but to see me gain a pound was too much. Now we haven't been that often and I have gained four more pounds, not the direction I was wanting to go. I just can't seem to fit it all in and that is just ridiculous when you think about all the convinces we have that the women before us didn't have.

I feel like my entire day is spent in the kitchen making meals that kids complain about and then washing dishes. I am some how always behind on laundry, someone always doesn't have something even though I just washed everything. And if I find globs of toothpaste in the sink again I might ban teeth brushing. I am an introvert person, I need time to myself everyday or I go a little crazy. So by the time nap time rolls around I am itching to send people to rest. When I feel mellowed out and ready to return to the world I head into Kati's room for school but by then the boys are waking up from a certain little boy who won't be quiet. I have tried many different ways to work this out and I haven't found the right thing yet. Obviously, from yesterdays post, I can't just let the boys roam free while I try to do school. I tried that for a while and then I just spent all day cleaning up the messes they made I while I taught.

So do I walk everyday to try and feel better about myself and let some things lack at home? But a dirty home makes me crabby.....Or do I stay on top of all things here and just feel fat, and that makes me crabby?

I just can't fit it all into one day, and I am not even trying to be super mom, just adequate mom. None of this even mentions how I haven't been reading my bible. That's worse than all of it. These kids and this home are my mission field. What kind of an example am I being for them.

Lord, make me better equipped for my mission.