I couldn't shake the feelings.
I came to a conclusion; the only way I would find peace again would be to find him myself and to see with my own two eyes that he was okay. The first thing I needed to start my search was a little help. I went to see my stepbrother Matt, who I also hadn't seen in years, to see if he had any information about Stephen and Debie, my stepmother. Matt gave me the last address he had for them but told me that if I did find Stephen not to let him know where I got the address. I saw no reason to worry Matt with my phone call from Charlie.
Two weeks later I started my trip with my friend Jeffrey. Our first stop was Cherry Blosom. I stepped out of the car and took in all the sights; the trailer that held many memories of visits with my father, the old tree swing that I spend hours on, and the woods that we played hide -n- seek and war in. It was all still there. I walked up the steps and peered into the almost completely covered windows to see furniture still in place. I descended the steps to walk around
back. I found our scooters still sitting under the trailer where we had left them, covered in age, dirt and spiders. To my surprise I found my father's chair outside and weathered. I couldn't imagine him leaving that behind. My eyes filled with tears remembering times when I had crawled into his lap and other times where I watched him drink beer after beer in that very chair. I couldn't find the words to tell Jeffrey what I was feeling. All I could say was, "It's dad's chair.". We spent some time walking in the woods while I shared childhood memories with him. I took him on walks to places I had not been to for almost a decade. I believe I went back to this place first to prepare myself for a world I had long ago put away. In my mind, my father had ceased to exist seven years ago when we had last spoke.Hours had passed and I wanted to begin my real search now.
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