So my goal for right now is to try and get some things autoposted because I still don't know when we will get our computer back. Hopefully you won't be reading this for a few days.

My bug. We dreamt of her before she was created, before we were even married. While pregnant with her I literally dreamt of her. What she would look like, what her voice would sound like, would she be like me. And when we nearly lost her I dreamt of just holding her in my arms. To smell her baby sweetness. After she was born I began noticing other moms and daughters. The first time it happened we were shopping at Wal-mart when this mom and her teen daughter came near us in the make-up department. They were consulting with one another about different colors and they were talking about one borrowing the others clothes. They were mother and daughter but they were also friends. I still remember that moment. That was the moment when I developed a new longing, a longing to some day be her friend and her confidant. Not to forget the I am the one in authority but to have a special relationship beyond coexisting as just family. To have a girlfriend.

Even though we fight and are at each others throats some days I think we may be on our journey to mirroring that first mom and daughter I saw. Friday night Kati made a suggestion about what dress I should wear on my date. And then later I called her in my room to ask if I should wear my heels or the flip flops like her daddy thought. She stood there for a long time looking me over, truly studying, "Could you put the other ones on so I can see you in them?" She looked so adorable checking me over and really giving thought to what she thought looked better. Struggling with choosing the flip flops because she knew Jeff liked them or picking what she really thought looked better with my dress.

I hope our moments of girl bonding continue.......