I am stuck there again. I hate it. Whenever I am stressed out in my everyday life my dream life takes me back to the home I grew up in. People I didn't even know at that time in my life are there. I can't get away from it. And now to top it off I am at the trailer, John Michael's home. That makes no sense but I am sure it has to do with the said stress. I am there, it's raining and night time. Someone took me there and left while I was looking at my old room. I have no phone, I am alone, and there is no one there to help me.

I have been struggling lately with feeling that I am not enough. I can't really put what I have been feeling into words.....unwanted....not good enough. (No one panic, our marriage is fine. I know that I am wanted by my honey.)

But I read something that didn't have an affect on me until later in the day. I was having my morning quiet time in the afternoon :) when I read a verse that I didn't apply to myself until later that evening at church. Where upon I began crying, which I hate to do in front of other people. If you know me at all, you know I hate crying in front of other people, I feel stupid, and then people want to know whats wrong and I am not a sharer. So anyway, now that I have rambled and probably have you all confused and wondering why you still read this blog I will share the verse with you....

"Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God.."
2 Corinthians 3:5

Now maybe this is not how the verse is meant to be taken but I believe God gave it to me to make me feel better. Even if I am not good enough or wanted by anyone else in this world, I am good enough for Him. He loves me just as I am, wants me just as I am. I am adequate, adequate enough for His love, adequate enough for His time, adequate enough for His patience. And today I am trying to rest in this truthful knowledge.