I can not not talk about September 11th today. You will have to bear with me in my randomness because that's how I am when I normally talk.
I remember when I first heard about the second plane. I had the radio on classical music for the three year olds in my classroom. I heard it and just felt oh that was sad. I met with some parents in the hall going threw the course of a regular day, I was just going over my lesson plans. We began discussing the planes and I actually said what are the chances of two planes crashing into two buildings on the same day (not knowing the names of the building or that they were side-by-side). Kathy looked at me and said it wasn't a coincidence. My comment showed my age and the safety that our country had here. It never occurred to me that we were in danger as a country. But the minute I heard about the pentagon I was glued to the TV and radio when I could be. As teachers we had to wear brave faces that day and the days that followed. I went to my moms house on my lunch break ( an hour and a half) and just watched and cried. I put a video in to record the news because I knew the coverage of this event would never be as raw as it was right then. They were showing us things that may never be shown again. News anchor had actual emotions on their faces instead of that plastered look they carry no matter what they are reporting. I recorded because I knew someday I would have children and this event would not touch them in the same way it was touching me. I remembered thinking that I hoped eventually Septemember 11th would not be a day kids got off of for school. Because I knew I would be angry to hear my children excited about such a thing. I taped because some day when they were old enough I wanted them to experience it as close as they could to how we did that day. The tapes kept recording even after I went back to work but I have never watched them. I couldn't watch much of any of it. I would try and just turn everything off. I was over loaded. Jeff wanted to watch something not long after where they had musicians on singing, maybe they were raising money or something. We spent that evening in different rooms. We were divided. He wanted to watch and I just couldn't. I didn't even want to discuss it. I hated going to work everyday for fear of never seeing Jeffrey again. So many people died that day not expecting such a thing when they woke in the morning. So many wives just waited for husbands to come home who never did. How long did they hold out hope? A few weeks later around 2 in the morning something happened to my car parked outside the apartment. The horn came on and wouldn't turn off. At the time I thought I woke up to a siren. I thought we must be under attack not realizing it was just my car. I remember how eerie it was not to see planes flying and tears rolling down my face when they were finally there again. Our country will never be the same again. What I cherished after was the union as Americans we all had. We were proud and united. People went back to saying hi to strangers, something our country had lost long ago. Something my generation wasn't even a part of. Sadly we have gone back to being fast paced and divided again. Not stopping to be kind and say hello, divided over our opinions on the war. Rudolph Giuliani said, "We have met the worst of humanity with the best fo humanity.", I wish we would get back to that.