Behind closed doors

I'm gonna take a break from the fun family vacation post because I read something this morning. I am passionate about this topic and this is my forum so I will talk about what I want. There is a new song out by Eminem. It's verrrrry. I'm not sure how to describe it. The first time I heard it I was put off until I took time to think about it. I saw the video for the first time today and read some of the comments. This comment below really bothered me.....



"this is hideous. It's about abuse of and violence against women (she likes being hurt, lied to and burned alive?). One of the women who sings it has publicly admitted to being hit by her lover (Chris Brown). The male lead has publicly admitted drug abuse and spousal abuse. Forgive me for asking why no one else is outraged that this is considered worthy of a top-ranked song young girls should hear? I get it, it's "art" and "ironic" -- but I have young kids who look up to music artists and this is nothing short of tragic, hurtful and regrettable. Call me old-fashioned. But call me in 10 years when my now-young kids think someone torching the house or hitting them with a whiskey bottle in hand, wearing a wife-beater and tatoos is a "role model". I like Rhianna. I like Eminen. I like Dominic Mohague (from Lost). Megan Fox remains to be seen, though I think she can redeem herself if she proves her acting talent. But this video is nothing short of a money-grab and I hope everyone involved has fun explaining to their 4-year-old daughter, or neice, or neighbor... why it's "cool" to hit women."



I want to start by saying it is up to us as parents to decide what our kids watch when they are young so we decide if they are able to see these "artists" and therefore whether they can "look up to" them. I understand as teens they have more freedom and the friends homes that they attend may not have the same moral out look as your own. That is the reason you discuss hard topics with your kids and let them know your feelings on them instead of hiding behind the fear of keeping them innocent and letting others shape their minds.

Further more why this person would let her young child watch this video is beyond me. It's violet and provocative. If a person has never lived a life that can compare to the situation then they can't understand the whole truth of the video. I won't say that I have been in the exact situation but I have things in my life, from different angles, that can make me understand. When the relationship is at a high there is nothing higher. The video needed to stand as it was to show how that type of relationship can keep you pulled in. That is not something a young child can understand and shouldn't be watching. That video was not made for young children. It has mature content and again it is up to us to decide what or little ones watch.

This video was not a money grab. It touched on a subject that we don't talk enough about. Between 600,000 and 6 million women are victims of domestic violence each year, and between 100,000 and 6 million men, depending on the type of survey used to obtain the data. And that's just what is reported. How many more cases are there? And the statistic for verbal abuse are hard to define but abuse none the less. This is a subject we should be discussing with our children. It's not a fun subject by any means but a necessary one. You missed the point of the video if you think the message is that it is "cool" to hit women. Missed it completely. After everything that Rhianna has been through I don't think for a second she would glamorize the hell she went through. I think she was a part of the video that showed more sides to a horrible situation that people get them selves in. It showed the sadness, the comfort, the passion, the hunger, the rage and I think it showed the desire to be different. It showed what can happen if you don't make the hard choice to walk away.


Here are the lyrics.....
(Rhianna)
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie

(Eminem)
I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I suffocate
And right before Imma about to drown
She resuscitates me
She f**** hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

(Rhianna)
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie

(Eminem)
You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting f***** sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane


(Rhianna)
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie


(Eminem)
Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to f****** leave again
Imma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire


(Rhianna)
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I love this song. I love the words. I love the message. I love the beat. It is a song I turn up in the car when its on. Because part of it is rap all the words are not clear and no the version we hear does not have the f-bomb. Is it a tough song? Yes, but I used this song as a way to talk about tough stuff with Kati. It gave me the opportunity to say how even someone you love can
cause you pain and hurt you. But even though you love them you don't stay. I told her she can always come home. That even if she still loves them to leave. Even if it's just words that it's not okay. The God made this precious gift, her, and that he wouldn't want anyone to treat her that way. That no matter what she wouldn't deserve it. For me the message I wanted Kati to hear is that life isn't always perfect. Your love may not turn out the way you thought it would but to never settle for what isn't right even if you love them.



Here is a link to the video and an article about it. Do I think the song has a good message? Absolutely. Would I let my child watch the video? Of course not.

There, now that I have had my rant I will return to fun family pictures. Oh wait, just one more thing.....if you have kids let me know what a precious gift they are from God and to never allow someone treat them otherwise.